I'm not sure which one of the last 5 years has been the most challenging. In 2019 I thought it was a tough year because my husband had back surgery and closed his plumbing company due to that. Then 2020 came and said "hold my beer" and delivered a diagnosis for my husband that signalized the end of his work life and put me in charge of being the family provider and caregiver. Since then the years have been one-upping each other with more diagnoses, natural disasters, and last but not least, peri-menopause. That one is the cherry on top.
I don't want to use peri-menopause as explanation for how I'm feeling. It's a challenge in itself, with hormonal imbalances, heart palpitations, sleepless nights, and many more joys. It's just one more layer on a shit sandwich that I'm having increasing difficulty eating. It's something that every woman has to deal with at a time - midlife - that's often already challenging enough. For me it's just one part of the puzzle, and it's a part that makes things harder especially because it's so undefined and I can't explain it.
I generally believe in modern medicine, and that it works best if you combine it with traditional and natural medicines like herbs and homeopathic remedies. That's how I grew up, that's what was practised in Germany at the time. And that's what I'm trying to do now - use modern medicine and the meds available to treat what needs to be treated and take care of myself on an ongoing basis with supplemental natural remedies. Now don't think that I have it all figured out. I just started taking better care of myself a few months ago after ignoring any and all physical symptoms for years. I am starting to feel better physically and that's probably one of the reasons I decided to also take better care of my mental health now.
I know there are many different resources for peri-menopause and menopause; I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. My Midlife Manual will be a record of what I'm learning and where I'm at while navigating midlife. A way to process and work through what has been and is going on, how it's made me feel, and what I can do to feel and live how I want to.
Why am I doing this publicly on my blog? Because that's what I do. I have been blogging since 2010, it has been a way to document and process and maybe make the odd person feel less alone. It has also made me feel less alone, because I've gotten many messages and comments over the years from people sharing their experiences and letting me know that they are going through the same thing.
Buckle up, buttercup! We're doing this.