Do We Always Want What We Don't Have?

Do we always want what we don't have? I've been thinking about this a lot, lately. My husband can't work anymore due to his health and had to retire at 51 and wants nothing more than to work again, as a plumber. I've been freelancing for almost ten years and would like nothing more than to do something completely different with my {working} life. For both of us, it's not going to happen. His disease is degenerative and I'm the only income in the family, so we both don't have the luxury to choose freely {choice is truly a freedom, just sayin'}.


We had a conversation about this today because I keep saying that we always want what we don't have, and he insists that's not true. He knows what he wants; if he could work as a plumber again, he would not want anything else. And, if I'm being honest, I don't know what I actually want, so I see his point. Maybe that's where we need to start - with what we truly want, and then make a plan from there?


To know what we want is hard. I find it easier to know what I don't want. I'm really clear on that. There are a lot of things I *might* want, but as soon as I come across something that I don't want to do or to become, it's an immediate and definite NO.


One thing I *am* sure about is that I want to explore my creative side more, specifically the side that knits and potentially designs knitwear. I signed up for a knitwear design course (hand knitting, not commercial knitting) and I'm excited about it; maybe that screams "woman in her 50s stumbling her way through midlife and trying to recalculate her life after it's been turned upside down {not by the pandemic, but by her husband's diagnosis}" - so what if?